1 Corinthians 7:16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

This is a very touchy, practical subject that most preachers would rather avoid! Marriage is the most intimate human relationship we can have, but it is filled with many uncertainties. Given all the differences between men and women, at times it seems miraculous that they can live together at all. At the same time, each meets needs in the other that can be rightly met no other way, so it gets really complicated. And that’s for couples who share the same faith! Recently I read of a man who had been married a long time who was asked, “How do you stay married to the same woman for so long?” His answer, on the face of it, was shocking, but actually deeply insightful. “I haven’t, and she hasn’t stayed married to the same man. We are both constantly changing all the time.” And nothing is a bigger, more fundamental change than surrendering to Jesus as Lord and being born again. It’s the best change possible, but the partner might not see it that way. The flip side of that is expressed, or at least implied, here: for a believer, their greatest desire is that their life partner share in their life in Christ. It is a tragic truth that we can’t force anyone to repent and believe, and approaching the issue that way will only drive them away. Peter, whose wife was a believer, said this: “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1-2) Now there’s a challenge for you! That’s the only place where salvation is mentioned without words! Even so, as Paul said, we have no guarantee that the partner will receive the testimony, verbal or otherwise. This calls for deep faith, and for many people, this is their most severe trial. Sometimes, we just have to hang onto what the Lord told Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I am deeply grateful that this is a road I have never had to travel, but I have dealt with many people who were on it. My wife and I were certainly not fully mature when we got married – and neither are we now! However, the Lord in His grace has had us both at similar levels for the past almost 58 years. At times one is “ahead,” and at times the other. My wife was baptized in the Holy Spirit years before I was, and there have been times when my faith has seemed stronger than hers. That said, our commitment to the Lord and to each other has been rock-solid for a long time. Sadly, I deal with people on a daily basis who don’t have that blessing. All I can do is pray for them and their spouse, and walk beside them in love. As the Lord assured me, there are many things that He would like to be different, but free will is real, however paradoxical that might seem, and each person is individually accountable to Him, and not to us.

Father, You know the people around me who have unbelieving spouses. I ask Your grace and mercy for them, Your encouragement, comfort, and joy, that their lives may prove irresistible to their spouses, for a glorious harvest in Your kingdom. Thank You. Hallelujah!