1 Samuel 3:13 For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons blasphemed God, and he failed to restrain them.
This was really dumping Samuel into the deep end of the pool, so to speak, in terms of his commissioning as a prophet. Eli was the one who had raised him, ever since his mother had brought him to the tabernacle to give him to the Lord, and here he was being told Eli was eternally cursed. Following God isn’t necessarily easy! However, as God says here, Eli’s sons had certainly acted terribly, as delineated in chapter two, and Eli bore responsibility, because he hadn’t done anything to stop them. That’s an area we don’t always understand. Everyone is individually accountable to God for their actions, but there are also questions of authority and opportunity for those around them. Parents do have authority over their children, full stop. Some parents today try to deny that, but the Bible, and for that matter, nature itself, is very clear. By failing to restrain his sons, Eli was bringing the consequences of their behavior on himself, which in no way removed it from his sons. That’s something all parents need to grasp. Failure to discipline your children isn’t loving them, and it isn’t loving yourself, either. This isn’t sanctioning child abuse, but many today are calling even appropriate discipline, abuse, when it isn’t. At the very least, Eli should have made clear to his sons that their position in the family of the high priest was as much responsibility as it was privilege. They thought they were entitled to anything they wanted, and that was a lie of the devil. In many situations, “No” is the most loving thing a parent can say to their child. There does come a point when individual responsibility overrides the parental, but throughout life, parents are to speak the truth in love to their children, praying that God will plant His truth into their hearts and liberate them from the lies of the enemy.
We personally knew a couple who had one son who went wild, and appropriately spent time in jail for it. However, they had given him a foundation, and he genuinely repented, returned to the Lord, and was blessed by God for it. They were a fitting contrast to Eli, in my mind. With my own children, they didn’t stick strictly to the best path, but then, neither did I, and I certainly don’t fault my parents. Parenting is a huge responsibility, and it is also a huge blessing. I am blessed every time I am reminded of my grandson-in-law’s absolute delight in being a father. I am honored to have him in my lineage, and I have no fears as to how he will raise my great-grandchildren. As a pastor, I have dealt with all sorts of parents and children, and I am not their judge. However, I am accountable for speaking the truth in love as God gives me opportunity. The “wedding palace” where I do weddings likes having me on call, because couples who have been through my marriage counseling have a noticeably lower divorce rate than the average. I always talk with the couples about parenting, also, and I pray that they will be successful at it. The results are in God’s hands.
Father, thank You for the privilege of being a parent, a grandparent, and a great-grandparent. Help me not dodge the responsibility of that either, but may I always speak Your truth in Your love, for the blessing of everyone and for Your glory. Thank You. Praise God!