Luke 22:62 And he went outside and wept bitterly.

The contrast between Peter and Judas is sharp. Judas, recognizing what he had done, tried to take responsibility, fix the situation, if you will, by killing himself. (Matthew 27:5) Peter knew he couldn’t fix anything, so he went out and wept bitterly. (The Japanese says, violently.) I would not want to be in the place of either one, but I know I am capable of it, and I want to stay on the side of Peter. Don Francisco has given us what I feel is probably a very accurate, and certainly anointed, word picture of how it was for Peter in his song, He Is Alive. It helps us identify with Peter’s utter emotional devastation. We have no recorded details of it, but Paul says that Jesus appeared personally to Peter after the resurrection, before He showed Himself to the other apostles. (1 Corinthians 15:5) What Don Francisco did was to take that tidbit of information and flesh it out, and it gives us a glorious picture of repentance and forgiveness. In his second letter to the Corinthians Paul contrasts, in a sense, Judas and Peter: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10) If we have no sorrow for what we have done, it’s hard to say we have repented. Just saying, “Oops there,” doesn’t cut it. We need to accept that we have violated God’s rules that are for our good, and genuinely be sorry for having done so. On the shore of Lake Galilee, after His resurrection, Jesus gave Peter the opportunity to declare his love for Him three times, directly corresponding to the three times Peter had denied knowing Him. (John 21:15-17) Jesus then let him know some of what he would suffer for being a disciple, and it was a full restoration of Peter to his position of leadership among the 12. Forgiveness is real and absolute, but it requires repentance.

This is an area I need to focus and meditate on more. There have been times when I have repented with genuine sorrow, but there have also been times when it was much more of an “Oops there,” and that has not been good. I’m not the best judge of my own repentance! And I am certainly not appointed as a “repentance inspector” for anyone else. I am to walk in humility, knowing that in myself I am totally unreliable, but that Christ is able to keep me firm. I have a sad track record of temper outbursts, and today being our annual church business meeting, I’ve got to be humble. I believe that God is wanting to take us into a much higher level as a church, and I certainly don’t want to get in the way. I can’t do it, but He can!

Father, thank You for this reminder. Thank You also for my wise daughter, who is certainly looking out for my best interests. Help me indeed track down the suspicious charges on my debit card, and do what is appropriate. Repentance takes many forms! Thank You. Praise God!