2 Timothy 1:12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

Paul started his adult life with a lot of confidence in himself, but God kept working on that. He didn’t demolish Paul, making him feel he could do nothing at all, but He showed him over the years that He was able to do anything at all through Paul, but Paul could do nothing on his own. That is a very blessed place to be! God replaced Paul’s self-confidence with assurance that God could, and probably would, do absolutely amazing things through him. We see the same sort of transformation in Moses. Raised in a palace, he had every reason to think he was something special, so God set him to herding sheep for 40 years. He then switched his assignment to herding Israelites! We have the proverbial expression of “herding cats,” but I think Moses’ job was if anything even harder! He made some missteps along the way, but God still used him as one of the pivotal figures in all of human history. The drama of Paul’s encounter with Christ is justly famous, but we don’t necessarily think about the level of transformation that occurred in Paul over the years. This letter is widely considered to be the last he wrote before his martyrdom, so we get a pretty good picture of the “finished product” of all God did in him. Here, we have a concrete statement that God had replaced his confidence with assurance, his pride with gratitude. I think that is the goal of what God wants to do in each one of us, and we should rejoice in all that God allows us to go through toward that end.

I have no idea at what age I learned the hymn that uses this passage as the chorus, but I have loved it for literally as far back as I can remember. Even so, I certainly suffered from an inflated ego. After all, I was the son and grandson of great men, with superb genetics and a host of other advantages. I don’t doubt I was an insufferable little twit! God dealt a huge blow to that pride when I was 24, but that just started the process. He has been incredibly gentle and gracious with me over the years, but He has kept chipping away at my self-confidence, replacing it with assurance of His love and faithfulness. As the Bill Gaither song says, the longer I serve Him, the sweeter He grows! For that to happen, my focus has had to shift from me and my environment to Him and His all-sufficiency. It gives me a great appreciation and affinity for what Paul says here. I may have learned that song a long time ago, but I’m finally beginning to really understand it! I have no anxiety about end-of-life issues, because I have complete assurance of what awaits me, even though I know no details of it. What matters is that, like Paul, I know whom I have believed, and that is enough.

Father, thank You for this reminder. Thank You for the close family friend who graduated into Your presence last week at 93. Thank You for the sister who received Jesus into her heart just before Christmas and is now in the hospital, before she turns 100 next month. However many more days or weeks she has left here, I know I will see her again, not because she is wonderful but because You are faithful. May I indeed let go of everything and just flow with Your Spirit, doing Your will on Your schedule until that leads to my standing before Your throne, for Your glory. Thank You. Praise God!