1 Thessalonians 4:13 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.

The longer I live the more I am amazed at some professing Christians who grieve extravagantly, seeming to never progress beyond the death of a loved one. Grief is real and is not to be ignored, but for those who are in Christ, death is no more than a bump in the road. At times, those who believe that death is simply the end seem to deal with it better, and that is an insane tragedy. Thinking about it, it seems to me that the issue is more about the person grieving being deprived of the person who has died than it is about the deceased. It is no shame to grieve, but refusing to let go of grief and move on is a form of narcissism. We are all on this earth by the plan of our Creator, and His plan for this earth has a beginning and an end. It is no surprise when people who deny the Creator strive to live absolutely as long as possible, but it is a tragic waste when people who know the Gospel act no differently. We have friends, dedicated Christians who have been greatly used by the Lord, who are in their 80s. The wife was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago and has endured surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, from which she had severe side effects. A couple of months ago she said “Enough!” and declined to have any more such treatments. They have told her she has only a couple more months, but we saw her just a week ago, and she was much happier and, yes, healthier, than she has been for the past year. I have the most concern for her husband, but he too has come to peace with the awareness that God’s grace is all that either of them needs, and they are a marvelous example of how believers should handle the whole subject of physical death.

I have lost count of how many people I have “seen off,” several at the point of clinical death, and I have a deep awareness that it is part of our natural lives. When my father didn’t wake up after heart surgery at 64 it was a shock, because I had no awareness of how serious his situation was, but I recognized that my grief was for me, that I wouldn’t be able to have conversations with him again, and for my mother, and not for him personally. I knew then and know now that he is in glorious fellowship with our Lord, far better and greater than anything we can experience on this earth. When my mother died of cancer at 72, with multiple tumors to the point that her body looked lumpy, I am told, I prayed that the Lord would take her to Himself rather than leaving her here, and when He did, I didn’t cry any more at all. At this point, with my wife and me in our mid-70s and her having quite a list of physical issues, this whole thing is intensely personal and pressing. My wife has daily issues with pain, and I know that those will all disappear when she leaves her body, but I very selfishly want to keep her around for as long as possible, for my sake rather than hers. Conversely, I seek to maintain my health, not so that I will live a long time but so that she will not have to endure what she would experience should I go first. I know that we are both “on assignment” from the Lord, and we will be here as long as we are fulfilling that assignment. I don’t want to stay longer than that!

Father, thank You for this reminder. Thank You for the beautiful example of our friends that I mentioned. Help us, help all of Your children, to live out Your plans for us in daily faithfulness, for Your glory. Thank You. Hallelujah!