Proverbs 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

There were several verses in the passage that spoke to me, and I had trouble settling on one. However, I started thinking about what was different for me than for others, and I came back to this one. The Japanese translates the Hebrew that the NIV renders as “of noble character” as “solid, unshakable.” It’s not at all an unusual expression in Japanese, and can be used of any number of things, from a building to a person, as here. I doubt that many young men have that on their list of things they’re looking for in a wife! However, Solomon had too much experience with wives, and I daresay this is wisdom he gained from that. When God instituted marriage He did so because a man is incomplete without a wife. That’s terribly politically incorrect of me to say, but it’s my conviction from Scripture and from experience, both as a husband and as a marriage counselor. A few people are blessed with a genuine gift for singleness, but they are few and far between. Genesis says that husband and wife become one, (Genesis 2:24) and both Jesus (Matthew 19:6) and Paul (Ephesians 5:31) quoted that. That’s interesting, since neither Jesus nor Paul ever married! A healthy marriage is an equal partnership, with each partner expressing their unique gifts and abilities for the good of the whole. In Japanese, when a person has a stroke or brain injury and is paralyzed on one side, the expression is “half-body imperfection.” I’ve seen far too many marriages that were like that! Neither partner in a marriage, being human, is actually perfect, but I think the image is clear enough. To me, the Japanese expression in this verse indicates a wife who fulfills her part of the partnership well and dependably.

I am certainly well crowned! Looking back over the past 45 years I can’t imagine how I could have made it through without my wife. I would have been like a stroke victim trying to get through a triathlon by himself. These days, my wife so radiates the character of Christ that the rehabilitation center where she goes because of her Parkinson’s disease sees a noticeable shift in attendance patterns depending on her schedule, because of other patients wanting to be there when she is. She comes as close to being a “Proverbs 31 woman” as anyone I’ve ever heard of, and I’m deeply grateful. I know men whose wives are wasteful with money or are gossips or whatever, and I feel very sorry for them. I can see that their wives are like “rot in their bones.” Today marriage is under unprecedented attack, and I am very grateful to be part of an example of what God intends marriage to be.

Father, I do thank You for Your incredible grace to me. I wasn’t focused on hearing and obeying you back in 1969, but You still made it very clear to me that this woman was to be my life partner, and You brought that about with amazing speed. Thank You for how You have grown us both in the years since, individually and as a unit, and for how You continue to use us. May all who see us gain understanding of what You intend marriage to be, to tear down the lies of the devil and bring You glory. Thank You. Praise God!