Hebrews 12:9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

This entire 12th chapter of Hebrews is vitally important for successful Christian living, and choosing a verse even from the first half is difficult! What stood out to me from this verse was the statement that, as the NIV puts it, “We have all had human fathers who disciplined us.” Sadly, in modern society that’s no longer true. Unwed motherhood is so common as to be expected, even. We all know that such children have biological fathers, but they are not fathers in the sense this verse is talking about. On top of that, in all too many homes, even if the biological father is present, he doesn’t discipline his children, and they suffer for it. This problem has deep roots, particularly in some ethnic groups. I remember a story my mother told me from her childhood. (My mother was born in 1909.) A woman who worked for her mother shared some personal pain with her mother, saying, “They say my children are bastards, but that can’t be. Bastards don’t have daddies, and every one of my children had a daddy!” (If I recall the story correctly, she had three, with different fathers.) Rather than correcting the culture of taking marriage and parenting lightly, we have removed the shame of raising “bastards.” Some such children are blessed with a “father figure” who supplies the discipline and emotional stability they need, but the majority do not, and society is falling apart in consequence. Far too many men have never seen what a true father looks like, much less been really mentored by one, so even with the best of intentions they have no idea how to go about it. For the Christian, our heavenly Father is able to heal that “father wound,” but it takes commitment and humility to receive such healing.

I could go on for a long time on this subject, because it’s one I care about deeply. My father was certainly not perfect, but he loved us children and he loved our mother, and there was never any question about either of those things. I don’t remember much direct discipline from him, but I also don’t remember ever questioning that he was the head of our household, as it describes in Ephesians 5, and that was vitally important. I can’t lay claim to perfection as a father myself, and I don’t have any physical sons, but I do think my daughters got a fairly clear picture of what a father should be, even when I didn’t measure up. In recent years I have had the privilege of being a father figure to several young men, and it is a joy and honor, as well as a responsibility. As a pastor, I am to encourage the flock to allow our heavenly Father to make up for any deficiencies in our physical fathers, healing wounds and applying discipline, just as this verse and this chapter say. Christian life isn’t necessarily easy, but it certainly beats all the alternatives!

Father, thank You for this reminder. Thank You for being the perfect Father, loving perfectly and knowing what is best all the time. Help me trust You more and more fully, receiving Your discipline, correction, and training with obedient joy and not resentment, so that I may be an increasingly effective agent of Your grace and love, for Your glory. Thank You. Praise God!