Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Since I use this verse in every wedding I perform, I have it well memorized. However, it’s still all too easy to overlook the most fundamental thing it is saying, and that is that Jesus gave Himself for the Church. Of course the Bible talks about this in many more places, but it’s important to think about what it means. John 3:16 famously talks about how God gave His Son Jesus, but when Jesus went to the cross He wasn’t just obeying orders, He was giving Himself. Everything else we have from God is on the basis of that sacrifice. The importance of that cannot be overstated. As Paul pointed out in Romans 8:32, when God gave His very best, why would He hold anything else back? Conversely, when Jesus gave Himself, why would He hold anything back? However, we have to remember that God only gives us good and perfect gifts. (James 1:17) Sometimes we ask for, or even earnestly desire, things that aren’t good for us. In perfect love, God withholds those things. There are of course exceptions to that, because God has given us free will, and in consequence He sometimes gives us over to what we are asking for. (Romans 1:24, 26) However, what we get that way is our own fault, and not His! Knowing that, we can see what a high standard is set for husbands with their wives. I would venture to say that no husband has ever fulfilled this perfectly, but this must be our goal if we are to receive all that God intends in the marital relationship.

I would say that my marriage is in the top 1 percentile, certainly, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have room for improvement. However, it is good enough that I can understand more of how Christ loves me by thinking about how I love my wife. Our relationship, though widely admired by the people around us, is seen almost as an aberration, particularly by Japanese men. They don’t really want to treat their wives like I treat mine! I am saddened to see the lack of communication between even Christian couples, and that problem comes from both sides. Part of my ministry, part of the reason God has me here, is to demonstrate a Biblical lifestyle to the people around me, both believers and nonbelievers. (Actually, that’s true for every disciple of Jesus Christ.) I am to speak Biblical truth as God gives me the opportunity, but my life itself must be an illustration of what I am saying. It is a problem that people see me as “other,” because I am not Japanese, and therefore they are less inclined to take me seriously as a role model, but I must not give up. After all Christ gave Himself totally for me!

Father, thank You for this reminder. Thank You for the wonderful blessings You pour out on Cathy and me through our being one in Christ. May we continue to grow in all that You intend, tearing down the works of the devil in lives and families all around us, so that Your will may be done on every level, for Your glory. Thank You. Praise God!