Luke 10:40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

This church has joked a good bit about “Mary and Martha” over the years, but the issue has actually been the source of a great deal of hurt feelings, with more than one person leaving the church over it. I think the root lies in the matter of gifting and our sense of fairness. Everyone tends to think that everyone else should be like them on many levels, when the fact of the matter is that there are no two identical people in the world, even twins. The Motivational Gifts teaching developed by Don and Katie Fortune helps a great deal in understanding this, but mental understanding and emotional understanding are two different things. Someone who is gifted, like Martha here, in serving, sees what needs to be done and can’t grasp that it isn’t so obvious to others. However, when others don’t place such high priority on such things, the Server often feels great resentment about the “injustice” of it all. I’m afraid Jesus’ response in this passage isn’t much comfort to Servers! Actually, the point is not that hospitality isn’t important, it’s that the greatest commandment is to love God, and the second is to love our neighbor. (Matthew 22:36-40) When our sense of propriety gets in the way of either of those, then we are in the wrong.

This issue has caused me more headaches, and heartaches, over my years of ministry than perhaps any other. Everyone is wounded in some way, and we tend to inflict our wounds on others. Knowing that’s a problem doesn’t keep it from happening! Human interactions are hardly ever simple, because we are complex beings. It’s very clear I don’t have the necessary wisdom, so I’ve got to rely on God all the more – and that’s a good thing! It’s very easy to justify myself and feel I’m in the right about everything, but that’s just deceiving myself. I need to approach every situation in all humility, seeing others as better than myself. (Philippians 2:3-4) I’m well aware that I need to express appreciation more consistently and effectively, not hiding behind “They need to do it for the Lord, and not for the praise of men,” however true that might be. At the same time, I am not to nurture a sense of entitlement when it comes to being thanked and recognized. I don’t have the wisdom! However, God is more than able to use us, imperfect as we are, and I am to trust Him to guide and grow us as we need, for His glory.

Father, this is the area in which I feel least adequate. Thank You that I have such areas, to keep me aware of my dependence on You. Help me love people accurately, nurturing them but not spoiling them, correcting them but not judging or disrespecting them. You know better than I do how I have failed at that in the past. I ask You to place a guard on my lips to keep me from hurtful comments. May I always speak Your truth in love, to build people up and point them to You, for their blessing and Your glory. Thank You. Praise God!