Luke 22:61-62 The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.

This is one of the best known dramatic moments in Scripture, and it is dramatic indeed. However, I think it’s the key to Peter’s later success as the leader of the Jerusalem Church. Here Peter found out that his very best intentions weren’t enough, that he was a weak, fallen human being, looking out for his skin more than for his Lord. We don’t know the physical distance between Peter and Jesus, but they were close enough to see each other directly. However, when the rooster crowed, Peter felt like he was a million miles away, and it was all his fault. I can only imagine the devastation he felt. The next 2½ days were as deep a pit of darkness for Peter as anyone ever experiences on this earth. However, we have the record that Jesus made one of His first post-resurrection appearances to Peter, (Luke 24:34, 1 Corinthians 15:5) even before He showed Himself to the other disciples. Here again we can only imagine the depth of the relief and forgiveness Peter experienced. As a result, Peter knew without the shadow of a doubt that he couldn’t rely on himself at all, but that didn’t matter, because God was absolutely trustworthy. That’s a lesson we all need to learn!

I have thought various times about the moment when Jesus looked at Peter, and it has made me examine the depth of my own repentance. As the Japanese expression for repentance makes clear, it’s more than just regretting something I’ve done, it’s regretting it enough to change. That’s how we have so many unsaved people as members of churches: they haven’t really repented, but rather just agreed to a set of facts. Repentance doesn’t have to involve tears, and tears don’t guarantee repentance. Repentance is first of all an act of the will, which will probably have major emotional repercussions. As a pastor, I’m not to fish for emotions, but rather let the Holy Spirit bring real conviction of sin. When that is present, and then people are helped to understand the forgiveness that is available to them, the emotions are strictly a byproduct. That said, I am never to belittle emotions, because Jesus never did. However, I must never forget human weakness, and keep my focus and dependence on God, leading others to do likewise.

Father, I’m not the best judge of repentance, but then that’s not what You’ve called me to be. Help me call people to repentance and lay out the reasons and conditions for it, but then let Your Holy Spirit do the “heavy lifting,” convicting and convincing, bringing people to new birth. Help me keep my own repentance up to date, so that nothing will come between us and I may walk in the full fellowship of obedience, for Your glory. Thank You. Praise God!