1 Timothy 3:5 If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?

Churches and homes alike would be much better places if more attention were paid to this verse. The parallels between being a good father and being a good pastor are almost too many to mention, and people in each position can gain insight by considering the other position. In each case the father/pastor is limited in the degree of direct control he has, but he has strong influence and authority, and with that authority, responsibility. Fathers would do well to consider the things Paul lists before and after this verse as necessary qualifications for a pastor, because they likewise make for a better father. Much of the influence of a father/pastor is non-verbal. The Japanese speak of learning things from “watching someone’s back.” A father/pastor’s character transmits to his children, both physical and spiritual, through the totality of his lifestyle, and not just from the words he speaks, as important as those words are. On that subject, words of praise and correction are of the utmost importance, because they can generate either aspiration for good or resentment at perceived injustice. There are no perfect pastors, as there are no perfect fathers, so both are forced to depend on our heavenly Father, the Great Shepherd, and follow His directions in order to do things right.

I am somewhat painfully aware of my own failings, as a father and as a pastor. In my case, words of praise and correction have been a tricky area. I have tended to fail to praise progress, holding out for perfection, and that has not been good. Likewise, at times I have over corrected, being a micromanager, and at other times I have failed to correct. Neither brings good results. At this stage in my life my physical children are out of my direct control, but I still have considerable capacity both for wounding and encouraging, and I need to be very careful of my words. My spiritual children are with me all the time, and they are both many and varied. Just as with physical children, I cannot take a one-size-fits-all approach, but at the same time I need to strive for consistency. I don’t have the wisdom for that! I’ve got to stay in such close fellowship with my heavenly Father that I will hear and obey what He says about each situation, because there’s no other way safely to navigate the minefield of interactions that is present in any local church.

Father, thank You for this reminder this morning. I dealt with some of this just yesterday, and I will deal with more today. Help me be faithful as an open channel of Your love and grace, to my physical and my spiritual children, so that together we may grow as Your family, for Your glory. Thank You. Praise God!